Can you say RETARDED?

Every now and then I read a story that I want to believe is not true. It's still funny though.

SACRAMENTO--Jackie Christie, wife of NBA star Doug Christie, refused to let a female doctor save her husband's life Saturday when he nearly choked to death during a dinner at the Pilothouse Restaurant in Sacramento . Christie frantically screamed for a doctor after her husband began gagging on a chicken bone, but when Clarissa Jordan, a 41-year-old female doctor, rushed to his aid, Christie grew agitated. She reportedly told Jordan to "back off" even as Doug's face turned purple and his breath came out in short, labored gasps.

Bystanders watched in horror as Jackie Christie calmly waited for a male patron to save her husband's life. Luckily, Sanjay Mehta, a local medical student who was sitting at the bar in an adjacent room, was able to apply the Heimlich maneu ver just in time to avert a tragedy. The chicken bone came up, and Jackie defended her decision not to let a female doctor save her husband.

"Miss Clarissa Jordan, or whatever her name is, came running over like a poodle in heat," said Christie. "I could tell she was lusting after my husband, which is why I wouldn't let her near him. Sure, she's a doctor, but that's a great way to get her little tongue down my husband's throat. Believe me, I'm no fool. Plus, my husband would never want a female doctor saving his life. He'd feel too guilty having another woman lay her hands on him. He'd rather die. I'm sure of it. "

Bystanders reported that Christie was not satisfied to simply wave Jordan away. Instead, she began beating the woman with her purse until the horrified doctor fled in terror. Christie said those claims were exaggerated, but did admit to "getting physical with her."

"I wouldn't say I beat her that hard. I just was trying to deter her from her ultimate goal of having sex with my dying husband," said Christie. "Yes, I hit her a couple time with my purse, but I had to. The woman was relentless! She kept saying 'He's going to die! He's going to die!' And I was like 'Whatever, bitch. Keep your hands to yourself.'"

After Jordan fled the scene, another female attempted to call 9-1-1 , but she, too, was thwarted by Jackie Christie. The women, 29-year-old waitress Cheryl Malcolm, insisted that she was jus t trying to help.

"After that woman [Jordan] got beat up, I realized Doug was still choking," she said. "So I ran over, grabbed my cell phone and started dialing 9-1-1 . Then [Christie] slapped the phone out of my hand and told me to mind my business and stop looking at her husband like that. I had no idea what she was talking about. I would never look at that guy in a sexual way. Gross."

After Malcolm was turned away, it looked like the end for Doug Christie. The Kings forward lay in a heap on the floor, his face bulging and red, his fists clenched, and his throat clogged with a large chicken bone, while Jackie sat with her arms folded and waited.

"I don't know the Heimlich maneuver or anything like that, so I didn't want to try anything that would hurt my baby," said Christie. "I was getting a l ittle nervous, especially when his eyes started bulging out of his head, but I knew if I waited long enough, some guy would come along and save him. If not, Doug would have been killed. But it's Ok. I made him promise to come back and haunt me after he dies."

Dr. Mehta was summoned into the room by a frantic patron who witnessed the choking. After he administered the Heimlich to Christie, he noted that if another moment had passed, Doug would've surely perished.

"I am extremely surprised that this man's wife did now allow Miss Jordan to save his life," said Mehta. "If another minute had gone by, he would surely be dead. In my country, this mad woman would have her hands cut off and her vagina sewn shut."

After being revived, Doug hugged his wife and breathed a sigh of relief. He thanked Dr. Mehta for saving his life, and recalled the final moments before he was rescued.

"Whew, that was a close call," said Christie, wiping the sweat off his brow. "I actually saw scenes from my life flashing by. The funny thing was that my wife was in all of the scenes, even the ones from my childhood before I met her. She was just there in the background with her arms folded, shaking her head disapprovingly. Huh. I bet a shrink would have a field day with that one, huh? A male shrink, of course."

After thanking Dr. Mehta, Christie also offered some words of gratitude to his wife.

"Although I am glad to be alive, I'm equally glad that my wife spared me the indignity of having another woman give me the Heimlich," he continued. "That would've been catastrophic. Even if I had lived, what kin d of life what tha t have been, knowing that I looked at, and briefly touched, another woman? I guess it would be kind of a normal life, actually. Anyway, that's the last time I ever eat chicken."

In order to avoid future incidents like the one that took place at the Pilothouse, the Christies have decided never to eat in a public place again.

"There's a lot of danger to eating in public," said Doug. "The outside world is fraught with peril. You never know, you could be sitting there eating, minding your business, and a chicken bone could get lodged in your throat causing you to need assistance from a female doctor or paramedic. Don't laugh. It happened to us, and it could happen to you."

Protesters arrested in DC marking 5th anniversary of Iraq war

War protesters have lost thier minds. I was reading a story this morning that 30 of them got arrested on yesterday. Some for throwing paint on a person and on the ground to represent the blood shed in Iraq.

OH.... hell 2 the no. They actually threw paint on someone's clothes! There is no way in hell I would have not been going to jail. You let somebody throw anything on me. I will bust their head to the white meat. I understand the whole thing about protesters making a statement about fur, war, things they believe etc. but if you violate:

1. my personal space

2. My body or clothing attached to my body

3. My ability to freely go where I need to go

You will have a whole lot to deal with. I wish a muthaf*cker would throw paint on me.
It is one thing to deface a building to make your statement...but to throw blood red paint on someones clothes who happens to be coming out of the building you are protesting.That's not happening. I bet you five dollars the person they threw paint on was not Black.

The headlines would have read something completely different: Black Man/Woman beats protester about the head for throwing paint! Both Arrested.

_________________________

Protesters danced in the streets of downtown Washington, acted out a Baghdad street scene in Syracuse, N.Y., and gave out "unhappy birthday cake" in San Francisco to mark the fifth anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq.
Dozens of people were arrested during demonstrations in the three cities and elsewhere around the nation.
At the IRS, about 100 protesters led by a marching band gathered Wednesday morning at the main entrance. Some of them jumped a barricade and sat down in front of the doors and were immediately detained. A second group did the same thing at a side entrance.
The demonstrators said they were focusing on the IRS, among other institutions, because it gathers taxes used to fund the war. A spokeswoman for the Federal Protective Service said 32 people were arrested. Another person was arrested by District of Columbia police for crossing a police line, spokeswoman Traci Hughes said.
GA_googleFillSlot("Article-300x250-A");
Later Wednesday, about 20 protesters were arrested during a march about a block from the U.S. Capitol. Police made the arrests after the protesters, dressed mostly in black with white masks, froze in place and stopped traffic. In some cases, police had to drag the protesters off the street.
Brian Bickett, 29, was among the first arrested at the IRS building. The high school theater teacher from Brooklyn, N.Y., said he had never engaged in civil disobedience before.
"We need to find lots of different ways to resist the war, and I decided to try this," he said.
Events were held around the U.S. calling for an end to the war. In Syracuse, police arrested 20 protesters who blocked traffic by creating a mock Baghdad street scene. One person dressed in camouflage lay on the ground. Another was covered in a white sheet with red markings and a woman leaned over as if grieving. They were from a group of more than 100 demonstrators who marched downtown in a steady rain over the lunch hour.
In Chicopee, Mass., eight people were arrested when they blocked a gate at Westover Air Reserve Base, police said. Capt. John Muraski said most of the six women and two men are retirees over 60.
Five people were arrested In Hartford, Conn., for blocking the front door of a federal courthouse.
On the West Coast, San Francisco police arrested about 100 protesters by early afternoon for blocking traffic and chaining themselves to buildings, police said.
The rallies, which drew hundreds to the city's busy financial district, were mostly peaceful, though some demonstrators threw glass Christmas ornaments filled with paint at police, said Sgt. Steve Mannina, a San Francisco police spokesman.
Black balloons were tied to trees along San Francisco's main downtown thoroughfare, and protesters at a table offered coffee, oranges and "unhappy birthday cake" to passers-by.
Across the street a few hundred protesters banging drums and waving banners that read "Was it worth it" took to the streets for an impromptu parade that blocked morning traffic.
Demonstrators also converged in Ohio, where more than 20 different vigils, rallies, marches and other events were planned.
In New York City, the Granny Peace Brigade sang songs and counted out the war dead outside the military recruiting station in Times Square, which was recently the target of a bomb.
Half a dozen anti-war protesters in Miami dressed in black placed flowers outside the U.S. Southern Command during rush-hour Wednesday morning.
In Washington, hundreds of protesters gathered downtown at noon for an action called "Funk the War." With music blaring, the crowd marched and danced in the middle of the street for hours, blocking traffic as they went. Police pushed them out of the way when they lingered at major intersections. Some of the protesters used chalk to draw peace symbols and anti-war messages on the pavement.
"The loss of life needs to end," said Manihi Kotnik, 19, a college student from Flagstaff, Ariz. "Maybe if the people can unite and shut down traffic and shut down whatever, maybe they'll start listening."
Outside a military recruitment office, the protesters were met by a handful of counterdemonstrators.
Colby Dillard, who held a sign reading, "we support our brave military and their just mission," pointed to some red paint that one of the anti-war protesters had splattered on the sidewalk.
"The same blood was spilled to give you the right to do what you're doing," Dillard, who served in Iraq in 2003, told the protesters.
Earlier, about 150 people, mostly with the group Veterans for Peace, marched down Independence Avenue. Many of them carried upside-down American flags, which they said symbolized a nation in distress.
Daniel Black, who was stationed in Fallujah with the Marines in 2004, said that after he returned he came to believe the war was a mistake.
"The more I read the more it just didn't add up," said the 25-year-old, a student at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, N.Y.
A couple of miles away at the American Petroleum Institute, protesters chanted "No blood for Oil!" and tried to block traffic by sitting in the street and linking arms. At least once, they were dragged away by police.
On Tuesday, 10 people were arrested at an anti-war rally in upstate New York. About 60 people participated in the demonstration, which started at Binghamton University campus and moved into the street as demonstrators made their way to a military recruiting station. Police said the demonstrators tied up traffic in the town of Vestal, N.Y., causing two traffic accidents.
Vandals in Milwaukee damaged the front door of an Army recruiting center and spray-painted anti-war graffiti across its front windows. Milwaukee police said the vandalism occurred Monday night or Tuesday.
The Iraq war has been unpopular both abroad and in the United States, although an Associated Press-Ipsos poll in December showed that growing numbers think the U.S. is making progress and will eventually be able to claim some success in Iraq.

Gas is Way too High!

Gas is way too high when you have to proposition someone oral sex to get gas money. The worse part is when the person won't pay up....you stab him. LMAO. Is it that hard out there in the streets. It hurts me to say that this poor woman looks like the love child of Chewbacca and James Brown. *thanks Wanna* What man would want to admit he paid for some from her... so she could get gas. The question I have is: How much gas was she going to get? How do you ask a dude to let you break them off for a half a tank? LMAO. Hate to see what she would do for the light bill.

Sorry Chewbacca...no gas for you!

________________________________________________________________

MESA, Ariz. — An east Valley woman who bartered sex for gas money ended up stabbing her victim while partially severing her finger, Maricopa County sheriff’s deputies said.Kelli Still, 43, was arrested by deputies, transported to the Fourth Avenue Jail and charged with aggravated assault with a weapon.With gas prices soaring, Still bartered oral sex for gas money with a male acquaintance over the weekend, deputies said.The encounter did not result in a contractual sex act but an aggravated assault when the woman pulled out a pair of scissors and began attacking the man, according to deputies.Michael Hamilton suffered numerous stab wounds to the face and chest, sheriff’s investigators said.Still also suffered wounds from the scissor attack, deputies said.When authorities arrived at the residence in Mesa, both people were covered in blood.Still told deputies the fight was a result of a sex-for-gas contract gone bad.Arizona’s statewide average for a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline is currently sitting at $3.191 per gallon, 58 cents higher than a year ago, according to AAA Arizona.Last week, gas prices across the state hit record highs for four consecutive days.

SOURCE:http://ohellnawl.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/ohn-readers-take-shyt-too-farsex-for-gas-offer-ends-in-stabbing/ Thanks SLAUS!

Dogs just want to have fun!

GROSS.I didn't know dogs could do that. This is a damned shame. That is all.

Family attacks TV news crew ... yells racial slurs!

This is some straight bullshit! I need South Carolina to get some hate crime laws... considering their rich history of racial injustice. This is just crazy. A white film crew from another station records a black reporter and her camera man get attacked by a white family.. but none of them get attacked. Both film crews were there to report the same story.

The problem I have with the whole situtation is..

1. Your son killed your father. Sorry maam but that is news. You can't get mad because a black reporter is doing her job... and is reporting on some mess your son did.

2. Who are these two little coons with the cell phones trying to record what happened. At least try to break up the fight. KNEEGROWS!

3. How ignorant is it for your whole family to try to beat up someone in front of another camera crew. Like they are not going to record it.

4. South Carolina is still a racist state. Get some hate crime laws you backwards hicks.

___________________________________________


COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) -- Three people upset that a news crew was reporting on the arrest of a relative attacked the television reporter and yelled racial slurs at her and a photographer, authorities said Tuesday.

A news crew reporting on an arrest was attacked by the subject's family, authorities said.

The family members, all white, began yelling and charged at black WSPA-TV reporter Charmayne Brown while she was standing in the street near the family's home in Union, said news director Alex Bongiorno.
Brown was punched in the head, and black cameraman Ti Barnes was also struck as he tried to pull family members off Brown, Bongiorno said. A video of the attack shows Brown, who wasn't seriously injured, defending herself.

"I think she's more affected by the verbal abuse than the physical abuse. She's really shaken up," Bongiorno said.
The fight was taped by a white crew from a second television station. They were not attacked.
Tousha Smith, 31, Billie Joe Taylor, 31, and Trina Vinson, 48, were being held at a Union jail on Tuesday evening on assault and battery charges, authorities said. South Carolina has no law allowing a hate crime charge.
Attempts to contact the family were unsuccessful; messages left at several numbers were not immediately returned, and authorities said they weren't sure whether the three had attorneys.
Charges are pending against a fourth person, authorities said. The reporter and photographer were not charged.
Brown was reporting on the death of 73-year-old Tommy Howell, who was killed by a blow to the head after an argument, authorities said. His body was found Tuesday in his home. Police arrested his grandson, Shane Howell, and charged him with murder, Union Police Chief Sam White said.
Shane Howell remains in jail, and it is unclear whether he has an attorney.
"These people were very upset," White said. "I guess they just took it out the wrong way."